Feelings

It's a Monday here in Thailand and I'm feeling sort of weird and anxious. I can't shake the feeling that I have something to do, but in reality all my work is done, for today at least. This feeling probably has something to do with the fact that I am leaving at the crack of dawn on Wednesday morning to go to Bangkok to take the GRE for the second time on Thursday. I took the test last month and my performance was pretty disappointing. I'm this time goes a little better as I am taking the test in the afternoon, by myself, I already know where it is and exactly what to expect. I spent so much time studying before the last test and doing practice problems that I am kind of burnt out. This time around I have been focusing on concepts I need to pay particular attention rather than spending hours and hours doing practice problems.

In addition to taking the standardized test for graduate schools I have been working on applications. As of now I applying to a variety of programs all relating to international development. My first choice seems to change on a daily basis and its really all I can think about at the moment. Again, feeling anxious. I have done all my parts of the applications and am just waiting on transcripts, test score and recommendations. I know I won't feel free from it all until everything is turned in. I need to relax, take a deep breath.

Now despite all of this I haven't forgotten that I am living in Thailand and that I still have work to do here. I am anxiously awaiting approval from PC Washington regarding the grant for the AIDS group. I submitted the application over a week ago so it should appear on the website at any time! Again....anxious. Once the project is up I hope to raise the money in about 10 days so we can start the project as soon as possible.

I am also feeling older these days. Yesterday was my 24th birthday. I spent the day studying, and working on applications, but the evening brought something special. Two of my best Thai friends in the village and their families threw me a great BBQ dinner. The weather has been cool and breezy lately so we were able to eat outside and talk for hours. It was the perfect celebration.

So my current situation is one full of waiting and planning. Once I check all of these things of my to-do list I hope I can sit back, relax and enjoy the ride that I know Thailand has in store for me for my last 4 months as a Peace Corps Volunteer.