Roll on, Roll on

Any of you that read this blog or notice my status updates on facebook know that this experience is somewhat of an emotional roller coaster for me. The ups and downs come quickly, in one day I can be practically elated and then by the end of the afternoon I feel like screaming or punching something, or closing my curtains and locking my door. We all know I'm a little crazy, hell you have to be to sign up for this in the first place, but I think I am correct in saying that this is ride that volunteers all over the world experience.

Many things can dictate my mood. The weather, if I am stuck wearing worn out clothes for day, a conversation at lunch, if the pig shit at my house is particularly smelly, etc. Sunday my facebook status read "Sarah brooks just had the best day of making organic fertilizer, reading a murder mystery, meeting my extended Thai family, and eating birthday cake". Yesterday it read, "Sarah Brooks is pissed and discouraged, good thing there is a long weekend coming up" and today "Sarah Brooks is looking forward to good food, good drinks, and good friends. Happy Thanksgiving". If that's not a roller coaster I don't know what is!

Yesterday I learned that my office no longer wants to support my HIV/AIDS income generating project. I'm not entirely sure that I understood the whole conversation because frankly I stopped listening. I was just so fed up. After putting on my headphones and sunglasses I stuck out the rest of the day in the office without talking much. Today, I was able to ride my bike in at ten am in beautiful weather thinking about how much I am looking forward my upcoming trip to Bangkok and thinking how thankful I am for the other volunteers. My friends and family from home are a great support system, but sometimes it's hard to explain what I am feeling or going through, and usually its pretty silly. The other volunteers get it and for that I am thankful. I am thankful and lucky to have two support systems.

My other projects are going well. The HIV/AIDS projects is not completely off the table. I can pick up the pieces and make something out of it. I'm sure of it. Or I'm sure gonna try.

So that's what's going on and it calls for much reflection. I am lucky that I have a job and lifestyle that allows for hours in a hammock with my Ipod or curling up with a book. Thanks for reading and commenting and listening.

Happy Thanksgiving! I will be celebrating with the other volunteers that have become like family at the fine establishment known as The Sizzler, Bangkok.